Announcement, Anxiety, creative writing

Storytime and a big reveal

Sorry I went AWOL

It has been a good few weeks since we last connected while I missed you all dearly, you will be much more understanding of the reason why much later in this entry so keep reading…

I wanted to give you a little back story first of where I was, where I have been and where I am right at this beautiful moment so around this time a year ago I had a normal 9 to 5 job while pursuing my degree in Financial Accounting Sciences as we all know juggling school plus work is an extreme exercise however for me, I was much more happier with my studying while work on the other hand was devastating to a point where by I thought about quitting a couple of times. I will forever be grateful for the opportunity I had to have that job because there are a lot of things I managed to do for myself while I was still there although I was unhappy and at the brink of my anxiety I was able to provide for myself.

I would drag myself out of bed every morning and look forward to knock off time when I have just arrived at the office. I cannot tell you how many times I actually used to go to the bathroom to cry and then pull myself together go back to my desk to serve the clients as if nothing had just happened, they say fake it until you make it right? I used to appreciate the weekend so much I didn’t want it to end this was the type of life I was living. A bubble full of heavy emotions ready to just burst but on days when I felt like not showing up I remembered why I was there and what I still need to achieve so I had no option but to keep going. The actual work was great, it was the environment, its culture and certain people who made the job unbearable. God bless my sister for always listening to me complain and vent every evening when I got home without actually getting tired of my pointless work drama, she was clued up on everything you would swear she worked there.

I really needed someone to share the load with and I had that in her also in my boyfriend, they knew my struggle and walked me through it. Fast forward to December when I lost the job and allow me to say that is the best thing that has happened to me, the relief I felt the first few weeks I was home were absolutely blissful even though there was a question of what I was going to do next now that I was without a job meaning I had no monthly income, it was about to be challenging but like I always tell my mom; God always provides because he promised that he will never forsake us. Things were tough but I do not remember a night where I went to bed hungry or when I have lacked the basic necessities for that I will be eternally grateful.

Earlier this year while I was doing my daily social media check in and updates I received an online business opportunity from one of my Instagram followers (A lovely lady she is) which needed no money for you to get started and i took advantage of it because I needed to have an income, it was hard at first but once I got my first customer more started to come for once I enjoyed the pleasure of being my own boss, working my own hours and setting my own pay. There are still a few things that I want to achieve in the business along with growing my team but so far the journey has been amazing this was all after I started this blog which has been doing very well all thanks to all of you. From being that miserable person with a 9 to 5 who was not happy with her job I became an independent and much more stable person. I also started my journey as a brand influencer which is a lot of work but is so much fun to do and it pays well also gets you amazing products to try out, it is more play than it is work but it is definitely a job therefore I treat it as such.

In the midst of all this and working on my anxiety, I am very happy and content with where i am right now. That brings me to the end of story time now moving on to the BIG REVEAL

I have been working on a project which is my first big one and I could not be more proud of myself. In the past few months or weeks that I have not been working on this platform regularly I have been writing a book which I am happy to announce that will be in store on the 31st of July 2020 (save the date). It is a non-fiction and semi fiction book titled ; She lives to conquer: Always fight to win and it is now available to pre-order on Amazon.

To find out more about the book you can visit my new website and to get updates about the release or future projects. So if you have been looking for a new read you just got one-you are welcome.

I will pop in more often to post but it might not be as often because I am still working hard for the bok release. I hope you are still staying safe and taking all necessary precautions for your health.

Thank you for always showing me love and support.

Lots of Love

creative writing, poem, Poetry

I want a different type of love

heart-3063060__340

 

I want a different type of love, the kind of love where you look at a person and you see your whole life right in front of your eyes and you cannot begin to imagine spending another second of your life without them.

The type of love we read about in novels and see in movies, I want that for myself and for every one of you.

I want a different type of love, the kind of love that catches you by surprise.

A love that is patient, kind and knows no conditions. The fairy-tale type of love where you basically trip and fall head over heels, and you can’t even explain how it all happened? But you know it in your mind and soul that you love the person with every inch of your body.

You know it because they are always on your mind and they are the first person you want to talk to when you wake up every morning and the last person you want to talk to before you go to sleep at night.

Because this person is your human dairy, your better half, your biggest fan but most of all they are your best friend and you can completely be yourself around them.

The kind of person who will never judge you and looks past your faults, a person who still thinks that you are perfect even when they have seen all your scars and flaws.

I know you know what I mean.

I want a different type of love, the love that John Legend and Ed Shereen always sing about. And as you listen and you sing along, you know for sure that you want to feel that way about a person.

To know how it feels to have your own personal person who makes you want to turn into a song writer or even a poet for you to able to put words together just to let the world know how crazy you are about this perfect human who makes your heart sing.

I want a different type of love, the kind of love that will get me through my dark times and when I am having a hard time dealing with my emotions, my better half can just embrace me and never call me crazy.

The kind of love where my person knows when to comfort me with words and when they just need to hold me tight and not say a thing.

Yes, I want a different type of love where we fight and make each other mad but at the end of it all we never forget how we feel about each other.

Where we can be playful, goofy and laugh with each other like little kids and when the time comes for us to be serious and have intense conversations the atmosphere is still the same.

I want that Romeo and Juliet type of love only in the end none of us dies but we love each other until the end comes. That Bonnie and Clyde, ride or die type of love.

I want a love where I do not lose myself but discover parts of me that I never knew existed.

I want the type of love that is stronger than any argument and disappointment. A love so powerful that even outside forces cannot shake.

I want a different type of love, a love where nothing else matters if we are together and have each other’s backs forever.

I think I might have found it, but I will let you know when I am certain.

I know we all deserve this type of love, and I hope you find it too.

creative writing, poem, Poetry

A poor woman’s prayer

Like a thief in the night hunger crawled into our lives.

Not even a bread  crumb to break amongst ourselves.

I remember the cries of my children as their stomachs rumbled from lack of something to eat.

A little too tired from the usual consumption of water because there is only so much room the water can fill.

A mother stranded with nowhere to run to and no one to aid me, She cries herself to sleep for her sorrows cannot be shared in broad daylight.

For during the day she has to put on a charade for her kids to believe that everything is well and that the poverty they find themselves in is not too bad and it is not here to stay.

Not giving up on her faith, she keeps on doing her daily prayer, a plea to the Lord to hear her. To send her a miracle for her children are slowly losing strength from lack of food.

Until when God? when will this suffering end? she constantly asks

Have I not been a good servant to you? what kind of prayers do you answer?

Is this the life that you planned for me to be slave of poverty and lack?

Am I unworthy of your mercy or have my prayers become redundant?

Are my kids being punished for my wrong doings?

Why Oh Lord must they suffer and sleep on empty stomachs, how can they possibly live on water?

Do it to me, let me suffer alone. Let hunger take me and not my kids.

I will even go on a fast for the rest of my life, if it means you will give my children some form of refugee.

I will serve you to the end of the world just to see my children eat.

I see no reason to live if my children are suffering, are you not the one who gave them to me? then why are you letting them perish? Are they not worthy of your blessings?

I have tried to follow every single commandment in your book hoping that someday it will earn me a spot in your good graces but nothing good has come of it.

I have nothing else to give, no more words to plead and no reason to keep my faith.

Why don’t you just take us?

creative writing, poem, Poetry

Where did we go wrong?

confused-880735_960_720

 

Sometimes I wonder what we did as the human race to upset the universe. Is it one particular reason or is it countless reasons of all the bad things we constantly do or say?but who do we ask? how do we know?

Is there a person of higher authority we can take it up with perhaps a manager? I don’t know about you but I’ll even speak to the supervisor at this point because there should be a reason why the world is going through terrifying times.

Which brings me to my question, does anyone know how we can appease the universe? Maybe then we will find a solution, it could have been right in front of us the whole time but our ignorance for the little things in life and being ungrateful could be blinding us.

Each and everyone of us walks through life with this idea in their mind that this how they are supposed to live, it is almost as if we bought the same product but each one comes with a different user manual so we proceed with what is written in ours disregarding the fact that we are all in ownership of the same thing.

It makes me think about the saying “Birds of a same feather flock together, until the cat comes”. Loosely translated to we have been living with each other almost in harmony and now that trouble is brewing everyone is looking out for themselves (which is not a terrible thing) and forgets about others.

There comes a time where we have to put ourselves first but we do not have to be insensitive to the situation of the next person and forget the fact that circumstances are not the same for all. Go about your business without making the next person feel terrible about who they are or where they find themselves at any point in life while we go through this epidemic.

This could be a way of the universe reminding us of things that matter the most like the importance of time, humanity and unity things we take for granted and fail to practice amongst ourselves.

This could be the time where we sit down and regroup, decide on how we move forward together. Decide on what to do from here, do we still continue the same way we’ve been doing things or do we stand together as a united front to overcome the challenge that life has thrown at us.

Once we are out of the woods do we forget what we almost lost? or do we appreciate it more and that could possibly be a way to appease the universe.

Let me remind you that united we stand but divided we fall, now it’s up to us to choose what we do right now. While we are still trying to figure out where we went wrong.

 

 

 

creative writing, poem, Poetry

A reason to believe.

Do give me a reason to believe that the odds are not against me and that I should believe, believe in myself even when things are not going my way.

Give me a reason to keep going because no amount of pep talk can get me through the self-doubt and constant panic.
A reason to see a future where I know what true happiness feel like.

I need you to assure me that you know for sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will conquer and live to tell my story.

when I do it won’t hurt me anymore.

Somebody please, please help me see what my eyes want to see but my heart refuses to believe.
That I am stronger and in control of who I am.

They tell me to have faith and trust that things will get better but also the same people told me that “seeing is believing” now how do I believe when I haven’t seen yet?

Show me and let me decide if I believe in the fact that tough times are not here to stay.

I am not asking you to walk with me or for me to depend on you.
I just need a glimmer of hope, hope that my situation is going to change.
Can you give me a reason to believe?

Can you guarantee me that tomorrow will not be the same?